Swinging is something that a lot of single dudes like ourselves tend to wonder about in between our dry spells. We took a dip into the deep end of our local swingers circle to try to find out what was going on and if it was for regular Joes like us. Our results were mixed. One of us is a true blue convert, one of us is a casual player, and the other one just didn’t really get anything out of it. Here’s why.
You Need to be Open
Swingers clubs have people that run the gamut of all sexualities. This means that you’re going to find dudes that are into dudes, chicks that are into two dudes, and chicks that want nothing to do with dudes. If you’re not the sort of person who is comfortable with other men being around when you’re getting busy, swinging may not be for you. There ARE plenty of chances to get with a single lady, but they are like the holy grail of the swinger world. That means that you’re going to have to field a few people that may make you slightly uncomfortable. However, if you’re open to trying new things, this is going to be a major perk of the whole scene.
You Need to Obey the Rules
Most of the rules to swinging are pretty easy to figure out on your own. You want to make sure that you don’t get wasted on drugs or alcohol. You want to make sure that you don’t crash a party you aren’t invited to. You want to make sure that you’re not lewd, gross, or rude with anyone. You also want to make sure that your partner knows what you’re up to. Swingers communities are tight knit and slightly closed off spaces with good reason. Not everyone who swings likes group sex and not everyone who swings is kinky. However, this is not the place to let yourself get jealous or get yourself worked up. One blowup at a swingers meet up is going to get you blacklisted for the rest of your days. Try to make friends with someone in the scene first and then follow along with them. Watch what they do and get an idea of the culture before you start accidentally making an ass out of yourself. Swinging is kind of light Fight Club. Don’t talk about it to the outside world.
You Can’t Get Jealous
One of the hardest things about swinging is that when you do it with your partner you have to accept that they are going to sleep with other people. Some couples refuse to get split up, and only go swinging for threesomes or other group play, but a lot of couples are willing to trade off their partners at swinger parties. If you’re not comfortable with the idea of sharing your lover, swinging is 100% not something that you’re going to get into. It’s frowned upon for one person to get into swinging and totally forbid their partner from doing so. It won’t win your any favors with potential partners either. The very last thing you can be is controlling when you’re a swinger.