How to Ask for Kinky Play

You want to let your freak flag fly a little bit and that’s totally understandable. Even if you only get it to half mast, you want to be able to have fun. However, you’re in a brand new relationship and you’re not quite sure how to ask her for things without scaring her off. There’s a few tricks to asking to take the sexy play to the next level. None of them are creepy, either. Remember, this chick is into you for a lot of reasons, and maybe she’d love to have you push her boundaries.

Remember that Ladies Love Sex Too

"Oh yes, they do!"

“Oh yes, they do!”


Women are sexual creatures to the max. We’re serious, they are just as into it as we are, if not more. The problem is that they get a lot of shit for having kinks while we, for the most part, don’t. Getting her to feel open about her kinks, then, means that you have to be gentle about it at first. Ask her how she feels about something that you want to do, spanking for instance. See what her reactions are. Make sure that when you’re with her, you tell her that you want her input on things. The more you make her feel like she can tell you want she wants, the more she will actually TELL YOU what she wants.

Gauge Her Reactions

"She wants it too - go for it"

“She wants it too – go for it”


That doesn’t mean that you have to wait for her to suggest busting out the blindfold. The best way to get over the subject of kinks is to be direct with your lady. Ask her how she feels about certain activities. Don’t ask her to do them first. Instead, just ask her opinion. If she’s disgusted then that means that you need to back off. Don’t come back to it next week either, you’re done for a while. If she seems curious, then you can keep talking about it. Let her know if you have any experience. As long as her body language is open and she seems comfortable, THEN you ask her if she wants to try it out.

Let Her Lead

If she’s new to some sort of kink play and you aren’t, you need to make sure that she knows that she is the one who has to say go or stop. When she says stop, that’s it, you stop. Don’t complain about it, don’t pressure, and don’t argue. You’ll have a lot better chances of the kink to continue as long as you are patient with her.

Letting her lead is also a good tip if YOU are new to something kinky she is into. We LOVE it when women feel like taking charge of a situation. We love it more when they’re willing to drive something kinky. Let her take point every once and a while when you’re doing something kinky. Very few people are pure doms or pure subs, you see. It’s fun to put the shoe on the other foot from time to time.

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