How to Act in a Strip Club

"You don't own this strip club"

“You don’t own this strip club”

We’ve all seen the videos about how men throw money and make it rain and girls go insane in the strip clubs. We do not have making-it-rain money. In fact, we usually don’t even take our ATM cards to the strip club because we’re not stupid. That means that if we’re being good, we only take about 200 to 300 dollars with us on any given night. However, we don’t have a bad time while we’re at the club at all. In fact, we get plenty of lady attention and we can hang out for a good amount of time. The secret is all in how you carry yourself.

Before You Go

Prepare yourself before you go to a strip club. Make sure that you shower and don’t bathe in body spray. Just some soap and deodorant is usually 100% fine. You’re not the one who is going to be putting in work, after all. Dress nicely too. Make sure that your clothes are clean and don’t have holes in them. Basically you want to look like you’ve got the money to blow even if you don’t.

Also, eat and drink before you get to the club. Strip clubs make you pay OUTLANDISH fees for a drink or two. While having a nice buzz while you’re looking at lovely ladies is great, it’s best to get most of the way there before you hit the up the club and just buy drinks there to maintain. BE CAREFUL that you don’t overdo it. For one thing you’ll blow all your money on booze, not boobs, and for another, you’re going to end up doing something foolish.

While You are There

"Be a gentleman about it"

“Be a gentleman about it”

If you have to write this on the back of your wrist or keep it in your wallet do it. STRIPPERS ARE PEOPLE. These ladies are working a job, like any other entertainment professional. However, their entertainment is taking their clothes off and showing off their bodies. They aren’t going to sleep with you and they don’t believe a word out of your mouth. Trust us on this one, okay? Strippers are attracted to guys that look like they’re either going to be total suckers or guys that are going to relax and make their job fun.

First thing to remember is to not jump out and force yourself front and center for attention. This is particularly true if you’re tipping a stage dancer. Standing around the stage and sitting a dollar down is going to eventually get her over there. Enjoy the killer view while you wait. Don’t yell at them or call them names. A simple smile and a wave will make them know that you’re there. These women are professionals out to get money. They aren’t going to let a decent looking guy sit lonely for too long.

The second thing to remember is to watch your hands. You NEVER touch a stripper unless she touches you first. This includes during a lap dance. It’s very tempting to want to put your hands on their waists and pull them close to you when they’re straddling you. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. Instead, you should get it into your head that you can touch anything from the elbow down and the knee up. Touching a stripper’s calf, fine. Touching her ass, NOT FINE. If you don’t impose yourself on her, she’s likely to grab your hand and put it on her body herself. We don’t know about you, but we find that hot as hell.

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